Drunk Dialing

Deploying the iPhone’s revolutionary inebria equilibrium detectofactor, the Drunk Dialing App independently determines if you’re walking straight or if you’re tipping over… If it determines that you’re drunk enough, then it scans your most frequently called/texted phone numbers before zeroing-in on the phone number of anyone you abruptly stopped calling in the week leading up to tonight’s intoxication and debauchery. Then it silently drunk dials that number. If your ex picks up, she or he ideally hears you in your worst, drunk scenarios: propositioning a street urchin, puking in a public stall or attempting to walk a straight line for the cops. Nearly endorsed by Alcoholics Anonymous and Mothers Against Drunk Drivers.