Tag Archives: banned iPhone apps

Tax time fast approaching? Are you in for an audit and have nowhere to turn? Then Receipt Faker is the iPad app for you.

The Receipt Faker App ties into your Yelp, Google Checkout, Amazon and eBay accounts and tracks the most likely restaurants and supply stores that you already make purchases from, adds in a few recommended suppliers, and creates fake receipts for you. Could it be more simple?

Just type in what kind of trouble that you are in, identify your business type and provide a few billing essentials and Receipt Faker does the rest. In no time at all you’ll be receiving fake printable receipts in your email inbox as if you were actually honest.

Best of all, Receipt Faker is tax deductible!

The instructional app for how to fold your favorite Star Wars action figures, with bongs, out of paper.

We reviewed this a year ago when the app designers initially tried to release it for iPhone and iPod Touch. But the instructions were pretty hard to follow, given all the zooming in and out.

But this time around we’re looking at it on a preview version of the iPad. Both of us are agreed. Yoda Bong Origami is fantastic on a large screen. Almost feels made for this device. Really crisp. Instructions are easy to follow and the two we folded up – “Darth Bong” and “Queen Padmé of Nabong” – look pretty sweet. Unfortunately, you wont get the chance to fold your own because the app didn’t make it past App Store censors. Again…

Apparently you need permission from Lucasfilm, Fox Home Entertainment and a smarmy guy named “Stuart” at the Jim Henson Company before releasing an iPhone or iPad app using the Star Wars brand. That must not have seemed obvious to the designers until a 19-page cease-and-desist order arrived. Even the Yoda Bong Marketers Association threw its rasta hat into the ring.

This app is a social networking “game of tag” for sufferers of that inconspicuous itch. It’s a variation on the famous Barrel of Zombie Monkeys game that has infected players all over the world hooking up with other crab owners to see who can affect the longest chain.

It’s all about patience, stamina and frequent visits to the game upgrade clinic.

Soundboard app with eleven super sexy audio clips of lesbians making out on the other side of your bedroom wall. It’ll be like the lesbians next door never moved away. This is one app we really hoped wouldn’t be banned because it is so useful.

For a number of years now, work has been proceeding to bring perfection to the crudely conceived idea of a machine that would not only supply inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grammeters. Such a machine is the “Turbo-Encabulator App.” Basically, the only new principle involved (since the Retro-Encabulator App of yesterday) is that instead of power being generated by the relative motion of conductors and fluxes, it is produced by the medial interaction of magneto-reluctance and capacitive directance. Special shout out to J. H. Quick for technical guidance.

“Is the water at this hotel safe to drink? I don’t know… it smells okay.”

Why risk your family’s health and an expensive vacation by letting your nose be the judge of water spoilage?

While the nose can never tell for sure, the Revenge on Montezuma’s Revenge App can determine with higher than 93% accuracy when local water is safe to consume.

Competing water-testing apps require you to immerse your iPhone (and potentially void your Apple warranty). This location-aware app stays dry at all times by linking into area hospitals and morgues to deliver the cold wet facts on the local tap.

At a glance, you can map every local hotspot where people contracted a waterborne illness. Learn what’s really in a town’s water supply – broken down by percentages:

98.9% water
.4% bacterium
.3% urine
.2% sewage
.1% drug-resistant fecal matter
.1% fake blood

Get a leg up on Montezuma with all the info you need before braving those ice cubes in your Diet Shasta.

It’s a statistical fact that half of marriages today end in divorce. If you could help stop just one tainted wedding this summer, you would be doing at least two people a great service! Now, imagine being able to do that with anonymity!

That’s where Wedding Checker and its network of autocratic future detectives come into play.

Let’s say that your sister is marrying a used car salesmen from Idaho and you suspect him of being unsavory; just launch the app and type his name into the search field two days before the wedding and a robotic research team will do an exhaustive background check. (A smallish 1-Click™ fee may be required.)

At any time before the vows, secretly plug your iPhone into a set of speakers near the altar and wait! As soon as Wedding Checker App hears anything resembling the phrase, “If there is anyone here who has reason that these two people should not be married”… even you will be surprised to hear the potentially anonymous defamation of his character. If no dirt was dugg up on your potential brother-in-law, it’ll be nothing but wedding bells and candy-coated almonds.

The first-in-class encabulator app for the iPhone.

Newly introduced by open source engineering teams the world over, the Retro-Encabulator iPhone App does previous encabulators one better. Early attempts to construct a sufficiently robust spiral decommutator failed largely because of a lack of appreciation of the quasi-piestic stresses. While this sounds simple, the failure rate in regulating heat expansion nears 22% which is higher than any previous app-based encabulator.

Purwell reitmal scanners native to the platform take time to develop, and, as anyone who’s built a new app knows, time equals money. Electrical engineers will appreciate the difficulty of tracking the operating point which is generally maintained as near as possible to the h.f. rem peak. Troubleshooting the retrospoilage takes a delicate balance model which isn’t impossible for the average iPhone user to manage without aid.

This is a distinct advance on the standard in that no dramcock is required after the phase detractors have been remissed.

Gone are the days of needing humans to tell you when vaults will be fullest in your neighborhood banks. With a little fancy database footwork between Yelp, the International Monetary Fund and your local Police Heist-Operations Unit, the My Inside Man iPhone App will let you know when banks are full and security levels are lowest so you can strike when the time is right!

In map mode you can plan and save your escape routes along with other handy on-the-job information. There’s even a detailed community event planner so that you won’t risk the embarrassment of hitting the same spots as other thieves.

My Inside Man is an indispensable tool for any up and coming con!

Variation on the popular yet censored app Women Eating Bananas, this newly banned app is a race to the finish. Six women of the female persuasion are lined up in a spaghetti eating contest and they need your help. Stroke your fingers from their plates to their lips and watch them go. But be careful-if you stroke too fast, they’ll get sauce all over. This tasteful and elegant app almost won an award from the Italian-American Men’s Cultural Center of Greater Chicago.